Moving to England in your 40s brings its own unique challenges, but for me, the timing was perfect.
Moving to England in my 40s wasn’t my plan. I wanted more peace and simplicity, but I didn’t know how to make it happen.
Then a trip Venice, Italy completely changed my life.
I had gotten up early to walk the city alone and had stopped on a bridge over one of Venice’s famous canals. It was so peaceful and quiet, I allowed myself to just be present and feel gratitude that I was able to experience this beautiful city.
That moment of gratitude was transformative.
I felt something in me come to life. I realized I wanted to live in Europe and experience this beauty every day, and I would work for as long as it took to make that happen.
When I returned home to Colorado, I could have decided it was too hard, too scary, or too crazy.
Instead, I journaled, made a vision board, wrote out a dreamline, and had many long conversations with my family. Incredibly, my spouse and both of my teens were completely onboard.
I decided to trust that I would be supported in this journey. It wouldn’t happen overnight, but I knew it would happen.
After 2 years of researching and planning, we boarded a plane to London to begin our new lives as an American expat family.
Every day when I walk through the ancient streets of England, I feel the same gratitude I felt that morning in Venice. Like anything, it’s not perfect, but I have learned so much and wouldn’t trade this experience for anything.
These are all of the beautiful lessons moving to England in my 40’s has taught me.
You can do anything if you break it into small enough steps and work on it every day.
When I first had the idea to move our entire family to England, it felt ridiculous and impossible. Even so, I allowed myself to lurk on expat blogs and read memoirs about people who had sold everything and moved abroad.
The more I acknowledged the desire burning in my heart, the less ridiculous it felt.
I started to research exactly what I would need to do to move our family to Europe. The more I researched, the more I realized how hard it would actually be.
One day, I was standing in my kitchen with my “moving to Europe to-do list” and a sink full of dirty dishes, feeling so overwhelmed.
Just do the dishes, I thought. That’s all you need to do right now. I instantly felt calmer and more at peace.
From that moment forward, I stopped worrying about everything that needed to be done and just worked on the next best step.
You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step
Martin luther king jr.
Deciding where to live, finding a job, getting sponsored, going through all of our stuff, finding schools for the kids, packing up the house, deciding what would go into storage, researching healthcare, the list went on and on.
I made a list of everything that needed to get done, but only worked on one step at a time. I stopped measuring success by whether or not I reached my goal, but rather if I had been working towards it consistently.
I stopped measuring success by whether or not I reached my goal, but rather if I had been working towards it consistently.
Before I knew it, we were standing in Heathrow airport with 5 suitcases starting our new life in the UK. You can do anything if you are willing to break it down into small steps and just keep going.
You can make peace with uncertainty.
Before we moved, I mentioned to a friend that, “Sometimes I think we should just do the ‘safe’ thing and stay put.”
“Why do you think that’s safer? You have no idea what the safer choice is”, he replied.
Of course, he was right.
We trick ourselves into thinking that if we stay in our comfort zone that we are safe from unwanted change. That is an illusion.
All we can do is make the best decision with the information we have at the time and let go of the outcome because it is out of our control.
I moved to England with a job offer but no signed contract. This took a huge leap of faith. What if they decided not to hire me? What if I moved all the way over there for nothing? What if all fell apart?
My brain went into overdrive trying to help me see every possible outcome that it perceived as a threat to my survival.
I decided that it was just as likely that it would work out fine and made a choice to stop catastrophizing.
I set my intention, got on a plane to London, and embraced the uncertainty. One by one, things fell into place in ways that I could not have predicted or orchestrated.
You simply cannot do big things without stepping into uncertainty.
No risk, no story.
A change in your environment can open to door to other changes in your life.
We tell young people to go out into the world, see new things, and to go find themselves.
We tell older people that they can’t run from their problems and that “wherever you go, there you are”.
When does going out and seeing the world stops being a worthwhile and life-changing experience?
At what age does that turn into escapism?
What’s the expiration date on our dreams?
When does age become incompatible with wonder and awe?
Never. We can always grow and change. It’s never too late to change our story.
Sometimes, you need to change everything.
Your environment is filled with the people, places, and things that trigger the habits and behaviors that make you who you are. Changing your environment can have a profound impact on your life. That is why people will often have more clarity while on vacation- they aren’t around all of the cues that keep telling them who they are day in, day out.
Years ago I sent an intention to simplify my life, but struggled to make it happen. It wasn’t until I change my environment that I was finally able to see a shift.
Moving to England has allowed me to grow and change in ways that I could not have even imagined.
You can still learn new things.
Another awful thing that we tell ourselves as we get older is that we can’t learn something new. We stop allowing ourselves be beginners.
Six months after we moved to England, I still hadn’t learned how to drive. It felt very European to be walking to the market and carrying a tote bag home filled with fresh produce, loaves of bread, and flowers.
But I longed to explore the countryside, remote ruins, and tiny villages of England that are harder to reach by public transportation.
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
Mahatma Gandhi
I wanted to learn how to drive, but I was terrified. I live in a medieval city in England where some of the roads date back to the Romans and are flanked by buildings nearly as old. There’s no room to expand, and so the British have adapted.
Cars speed down streets that have no business being two-way, barely missing each other or the cars parked on both sides, half covering the sidewalk.
There were times when I thought, I’m never going to be able to do this.
So I approached it the way I approach everything now- by taking it one tiny step at a time and working on it every day.
You can’t ask people for directions to places they have never been.
Whenever you make a big change, people will have big opinions, and most will feel very comfortable about sharing them with you. They may tell you that you are crazy, or irresponsible, or that you are going to ruin your life.
When I told one co-worker that I was leaving my position to move to England she said, “I had a cousin that moved to England and she got cancer and died waiting for medical care.”
Thank you for sharing.
Some of this is genuine care and concern, but you may also find that it makes people uncomfortable to see you make big changes in your life and following your dreams.
We all have desires in our hearts, but many people chose to believe that chasing those dreams would be impossible, selfish, or impractical. Now here you are challenging those beliefs.
We don’t like to be wrong.
You might be going on the greatest adventure of your life, or you may decide that it wasn’t what you thought it would be. But you will never have to wonder what would have happened if you had followed the desires of your heart.
This is your journey. No one can walk the path for you, only with you.
Novel experiences are good for our brains.
Having novel experiences and exploring new places can actually improve our mood.
During my first year in the UK, everything was new and different. Every, single day was an adventure. I was aware of the change of seasons, the new sights and smells that each brought.
When we first arrived in January, I bought a paper map, bundled up, and wandered my new city, trying to memorize street names such as Whip-Ma-Whomp-Ma-Gate, Lord Mayor’s Walk, and Swinegate.
As the weeks passed and the weather became warmer and drier, I watched gardens bloom and parks come to life. New leaves hid beautiful statues and buildings that had become part of my daily commute.
I thanked winter for the unobstructed views it offered me of this gorgeous city and welcomed the new gifts of spring.
When summer arrived I was astounded by the gorgeous weather. We spent long weekends at beaches in North Yorkshire and North Wales.
I soaked in the beauty and tranquility of coastal villages.
I sat in outdoor cafes, slowly sipping cappuccino like I was on vacation.
I took a $50 round-trip flight to Paris for the weekend and felt like I was the luckiest person in the world.
The start of autumn brought a whole new sensory experience. The trees were bursting with color. The air was rich with moisture and the smell of damp soil.
Warm summer nights turned to cool evenings, perfect cozying up by one of the giant stone fireplaces in the local pubs.
We never know what the future will bring and so I am enjoying every moment of this time, paying attention to all that is new and different.
Being surrounded by so much beauty has changed everything. Days, and months stretch out and time stands still. I am aware of a rhythm to life that is outside the never-ending to-do list that used to dominate every season and holiday.
At times I’m homesick sick for my house and community in America, but if I stay focused on the gifts of the present moment, this season of my one life, my sadness is transformed into gratitude.
An easier, simpler life is possible.
Time is our greatest non-renewable resource. It is more valuable than money because, unlike money, once you spend it, it’s gone forever.
For at least ten years I have had a New Year’s resolution to make my life simpler. I made goals, put it on my vision board, and I tried every productivity strategy I could find.
No matter what I did, it felt like I was drinking from a firehose.
Since moving to the England, I feel less stressed, less rushed, and less overwhelmed.
I realize now that some of the reasons that my life feels simpler and easier are baked into the culture here, and would have been hard to duplicate in America.
We own one car, not three. I walk most places and usually get my 10,000 steps in without even realizing it (no more coming home to get on the treadmill).
I spend much more time outdoors in nature.
My work is less demanding but more rewarding.
In the States, we would take our summer vacation and return with a a vague, post-vacation depression, knowing that it would be another year before we could do it again.
But in the UK we get so much vacation time, and there’s no pressure not to use it. There is always another holiday just around the corner.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives”
Annie Dillard
These small changes have freed up so much of my time and energy. I write, wander, explore, and connect.
I have learned that you can probably simplify your life anywhere, but it’s a lot easier when the culture and environment are supporting that change.
There is no “right” decision.
You can never know if you are making the right decision because you will never be able to see where the other path leads.
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
Soren Kierkegaard
When things have been hard and I have questioned my decision, all I need to do is go for a walk in this beautiful city and pay attention to the world around me.
I see all of the sights and sounds that I never would have experienced if I had not taken this leap.
I collect memories of beautiful days and stay grateful for the small things.
I remind myself that when I was home, I wanted to be here. Someday I will be home and I will yearn for these ancient places again.
There are only positive experiences and learning experiences.
There are only positive experiences and learning experiences.This has been both. How do I know that this is where I’m meant to be? Because this is where I am.
It’s as simple as that.
Did you move to a new country in your 40s or make another big change later in life? Share your experience in the comments!
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